I can’t say why it’s taken me so long to write the second part of this post except that I think I’ve been aiming for something really useful since I have friends who either recently had their first child or are due in the next few months. Also, I’ve been thinking about this crap for awhile and have only now developed an audience for it (a hazard when you have your last kid a good year before most of your friends have had their first) and as such, I’ve got a lot of material running around my brain.
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Your crazy love for your baby will never go away — but as intense as your feelings for your newborn are you’ll eventually have to leave the house for supplies, return to work and/or visit friends and family. Resuming your normal activities helps blunt your desire to spend each waking moment contemplating the perfection that is your child. It sounds like I’m being sarcastic but I’m not. You *really* will want to spend every moment contemplating your infant.
This is all normal and good. At this point, if friends tell you you’re talking about your baby too much, I might seriously consider a friend purge.
The danger comes later. People who stay at home to raise their children are obviously at greater risk for identity loss than their partners and I would contend, have more at stake when they do. No one aims to be Patsy Ramsey (poor soul) but if you’re living through your kids, don’t be surprised if somehow your 2 year old ends up wearing a hoop skirt and mascara while you’re screaming “We’re Number One!” at another parent.
Accept that the person you were before you had children is gone. In her place stands the more compassionate, stronger version of you. Think of all the things you were capable of before kids and think of what you can accomplish now that you have real motivation.
Guard your self. Stay well groomed*. You need to read every day, stay up on current events and call your friends and gossip. Even if this means that the kids watch Teletubbies or Spongebob for an hour, APA, be damned. (This is also what nap time can be for if you have kids that, unlike mine, actually nap on their own.) Surprise your partner with some dirty talk that has nothing to do with diapers. As you cruise through town in your mini-van, blast a little “You Suck” for old times sake.
*How to take a shower: Bring your bouncey seat into the bathroom and put your infant in it. Shower quickly and if things start getting loud, peek-a-boo with the shower curtain is always fun. Common sense tells us that this maneuver should not be attempted when baby is tired.
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